When it comes to the colder months, we often find ourselves wanting a companion – whether that’s a relationship, situationship, friends who have sex/cuddles, or just simple winter warmth.
This feeling is very strong during these cold months but sometimes we don’t want, or aren’t compatible with a winter companion but that doesn’t mean we can’t give ourselves winter warmth.
Welcome back to the Kink Corner I’m Pup Kermit in this Winter edition we’ll discuss self-pleasure, explore kinky solo fantasies and discuss event/sub drop.
Masturbation is something most people do – whether it’s once a day, once a week or once a month – most of us masturbate. Plenty of research has shown benefits of masturbating, such as imporvement of self-esteem and better sleep just to name a few.
I personally have an extremely high sex-,drive so I often find once a day, or more than once a day is my usual routine. Some of my best orgasms are achieved by masturbation and solo play and I often preach the importance of masturbation by telling people that.
Here are some tips and tricks to help you enjoy self-pleasure.
Setting the scene
Setting the right environment is a great place to start. Wherever you are, set the mood. Something I do when I need some me time is to clear some space, light a candle, dim the lights and put on some Lo-Fi music. Sometimes I put on some sexy underwear or lingerie that helps me feel sexy and confident. Then I often set up before I start, which leads me to:
Setting up before getting off
Setting up is all about setting your intentions beforehand such as the toys, oils or lubes you’re going to use, and what media you’re going to use to help you get off, if you use any at all. Personally, depending on whether I’m my kinky pupsona Kermit, or if I’m my usual self, masturbation looks different. If it’s just plain old me masturbating then I will get out toys and set a more sensual mood.
If I’m feeling particularly kinky I’ll normally get in my leather and pup gear, grab a towel, my favourite lube which is usually a water-based lube, and a silicone lube that’s typically thicker After all this I find what type of media I feel like getting off to – sometimes its video format, sometimes it’s audio or sometimes it’s my imagination or my human self dominating my pup self.
I often find wanting the human-me to dominate me when I’m my pupsona. Yet when I’m doing solo play as Kermit, I find my inner thoughts have to become that dominant voice – which means that I’ll often tell Kermit what to do and how to do it, and in doing so, I’ll dom myself from my inner thoughts – which allows me to have a kinky play while doing it solo.
During kinky play, we can have the issue of sub-drop – an intense physical or emotional feeling after intense play, scenes or events. In addition to sub-drop, there is also event drop – which can happen when you go to BDSM events. During my trip to Melbourne for Hanky I experienced a bit of sub-drop, I became super anxious and overwhelmed, and just generally felt uneasy. I told my play partner how I was feeling and he walked me to a quiet area, got me some water and comforted me the way I needed. If you find yourself feeling this way, here are some ways to deal with it.
Chat with your play partner/ partners about what you’re feeling/need
Distract yourself by watching a tv show, playing a game or going on a walk
Have a bath or shower to relax
Socialise with friends
These are just a bunch of things you could do when experiencing sub– drop or event-drop, I often find chatting with play partners, doing a shower routine where I wash my face and body and getting outside or socialising helps when I’m feeling this way, but every individual is different and different things work for different people.