We all have the things that make us turned on, like leather, latex, hot wax or pup play just to name a few, but just ‘cause one person isn’t into it doesn’t make it a gross or wrong thing. In the spring edition of Kink Corner, I’ll be going over the “kink shame” many of us go through when we start to be open about our kinky selves.
Most of the time people will kink shame due to not understanding why we enjoy these types of kinks. A good way to try and deal with this is to educate the person on your kink if you feel comfortable enough or even send some articles or podcasts on the topic and general kink to get them comfortable with the idea. For example, my main kink is pup play. When I first started getting into pup play and being honest with those I cared about that I was a pup, I often used Pup Amp from Watts the Safeword as a way to educate friends who were interested, by showing them specific episodes from their podcast, or a video from their Youtube channel (both called Watts the Safeword). In my case, my friends eventually came to understand my kink but that will not always be the case and if that happens then you find your people.
The kink shame part of this article is honestly about if no one understands you for your kink, they’re not open to learning and happy to judge you for it. There is a world of people who are part of a community here to welcome you with open arms. Us pups in particular have wonderful communities that hold regular events and have regular chats, but it’s still very much underground due to the stigma we face because of our kink. If you’re itching for that community start by following kinky people you look up to, and message them: us kinky folk are happy to have a chat and guide you to reliable resources, as well as introduce you to people and events that may spark your interest. Your people are out there!
Hot Tip for summer.
As summer hits us, so does a peak in the number of sexual behaviours, especially cruising or heading to sex-on-site premises, so here are my hot tips for entering these spaces.
Always get consent
Always use some form of protection
Know your status and get tested every 3-6 months (if you’re regularly sexually active)