There’s a saying I’ve heard in recent years: “If you can’t talk about sex, you probably shouldn’t be having it.” To put it bluntly, none of us would be here without it! Yet for something so fundamental to life, talking about sex makes most of us feel awkward.
Many of us grew up learning that sexual health is a topic to avoid—a cultural attitude passed down for generations. Others may have had bad experiences, giving even more reason to skip the topic. But avoiding sexual health talks doesn’t protect us. It only continues the stigma and means we miss an important part of our overall health care.
How can we make sex talk less tricky? Let’s start at the very beginning: what children are taught and who teaches them.
Children learn about “the birds and the bees” from many places—parents, carers, schools, siblings, friends, books, and the internet. As their closest caregivers, parents and carers play a huge role in shaping attitudes and knowledge. Sexual health deserves the same matter-of-fact care as the rest of our bodies. We wouldn’t hesitate to tell a doctor if our knee hurt, and our private parts shouldn’t be any different.
Teaching children the correct anatomical names for their private body parts from a young age is a great start. It removes embarrassment and empowers them to ask questions, explain symptoms, or report changes. Crucially, research shows that using proper terms is a vital step in keeping children safe from sexual abuse.
What about learning at school? Australia’s national curriculum includes sex education within Health and Physical Education, but recent surveys show many teens feel it falls short. A common gap occurs when parents assume schools cover everything, while schools assume parents have it handled. Furthermore, sex education delivery varies greatly across public, Catholic, and independent schools.
When young people don’t get reliable information from home or school, they turn to the internet. This can expose them to inappropriate material, misleading facts, or predatory spaces. Without clear guidance, they are left ill-equipped to navigate relationships and safety. Fortunately, research shows that strong school programs actually encourage better, more open conversations at home.
Tips and resources
You don’t need to have all the answers—you just need to know where to look:
- Raising Children Network: Offers clear, step-by-step guides for talking with children and teenagers about sex (raisingchildren.net.au).
- Utilise Books: Reading together works well for young kids (e.g., Everyone’s Got a Bottom by Tess Rowley). For teens, offering books they can read privately (e.g., Welcome to Sex by Dr. Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes) keeps the conversation going without putting them on the spot.
- Local Support: Family Planning Tasmania (fpt.org.au) provides trusted, confidential advice and clinical services tailored to our local community.
We’ve come a long way with having these discussions in Australia, but there is still progress to make together. There is no perfect script for these chats; at its core, it is simply about building trust, creating safety, and removing shame. If this article has raised any concerns or caused distress, support is available via the Sexual Assault Support Service (SASS) on 1800 697 877.
