Living in a smaller community has its perks. There’s a sense of familiarity, connection and belonging that many people cherish. But it also means our lives naturally overlap. It’s not uncommon to bump into your GP at the supermarket, your child’s teacher at the beach, or your mental health social worker at the local café. Sometimes those shared spaces are even more niche – at a music gig, a sporting club, Pride event, or within communities centred around alternative lifestyles, the dating scene or kink.
For many people, this can feel awkward. “Should I say hello?” “Will they think it’s strange?” “What if other people see us talking?”
The short answer? You get to choose. Sorry if it feels like pressure, but yes, it is up to you.
Mental health professionals are trained to protect your privacy and confidentiality. In most situations, your therapist will wait for you to make the first move. If you smile or say hello, they’ll happily return the greeting. If you walk past without acknowledging them, they’ll respect that too. This isn’t being unfriendly – it’s about ensuring they don’t accidentally reveal your therapeutic relationship to anyone you might be with. Especially without prior consent. If you’ve spoken about it clearly beforehand, that might be different and could be more of a green light.
Sometimes, though, seeing your practitioner in a different context can bring up unexpected feelings. They suddenly seem like a “real person” rather than simply your therapist, on a nice armchair, in the safety of a nice room as a secure container, separate to the outside world. You might feel embarrassed, curious, protective, or even unsettled. All of these reactions are completely normal.
The same applies if you belong to a smaller sub-community. Whether it’s the local queer community, an advocacy group, a dance scene, or a kink community, professionals are people too. They have friendships, hobbies, identities and interests outside of their work. Ethical practice doesn’t require therapists to avoid living full, authentic lives. Instead, it asks them to maintain appropriate professional boundaries and protect client confidentiality.
If you do find yourself feeling uncomfortable after an unexpected encounter, consider bringing it into your next session. These moments can often become valuable therapeutic conversations about boundaries, expectations, trust, or even the assumptions we hold about the people who support us.
Small towns remind us that we’re all human. While our roles may differ depending on the setting, mutual respect remains the same. Whether you exchange a quick wave across the dancefloor, queer art performance or speed dating event, or simply continue as though nothing happened, there’s no right or wrong response.
Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is allow each other the dignity of being both professional and wonderfully, ordinarily human.
