I hear this a lot. But (sadly, lol, the Queer Agenda) the answer is no.
Queer folks’ feelings toward allies can vary widely depending on personal experiences, cultural context, and the actions of the allies themselves. Generally, many queer people appreciate and value allies who actively support and advocate for their rights and well-being. Allies play a crucial role in promoting inclusivity, challenging discrimination, and creating safer spaces for queer individuals to express themselves authentically.
Positive feelings toward allies often stem from their efforts to listen, learn, and amplify the voices of the queer community without overshadowing them. Effective allies humbly acknowledge their privilege, educate themselves about LGBTQ+ issues, and use their platforms and resources to uplift marginalized voices. They understand that allyship is an ongoing process that requires humility, genuine empathy, and a commitment to challenging systemic injustices – usually publicly or visibly. Being an ally is like being a good person. Or a bystander. You have a role, it’s important, do something. Don’t be passive.
On the other hand, some queer individuals may have reservations or skepticism about allies if they perceive their actions as performative or self-serving. This can happen when allies prioritise their own comfort or reputation over the needs and experiences of the queer community, engage in tokenising behaviour, or fail to address their own biases and prejudices. Inauthentic allyship can feel dismissive and erasing of queer experiences, leading to frustration and distrust, fracturing relationships and communities.
Queer folks have a role to play too – being willing, open, trusting and inclusive. These can be hard qualities to muster up if you’ve been abused, discriminated against or excluded by non-Queer folks or heteronormative systems. Ultimately, the quality of allyship matters more than the label itself. Queer people appreciate allies who show genuine solidarity, respect their autonomy, and actively work to dismantle heteronormative structures and attitudes.
Building trust and mutual respect between allies and the queer community requires ongoing communication, accountability, and a willingness to listen and learn from each other’s perspectives. By fostering authentic relationships and collaborations, allies can contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society for all.
Reach out if you need to: www.wildcalmtherapies.com.au
