Read previous parts here.
We return to Nesha and Alex in 2008, as they make their move to Tasmania. Buying a house online, can have some disadvantages, and this house was no exception. The property’s extremely poor condition, in the middle of nowhere wasn’t exactly uplifting. A Pub across the road may sound like a bonus, but not when one is trying to beat alcoholism.
Being the creative couple, Nesha and Alex took advantage of the Pub over the road, and it wasn’t long before a very ordinary boring Pub, in a little regional town, came alive, with a new kitchen, serving delicious meals with 30-40 customers at each sitting.
Soon they were swamped with compliments, including unlikely candidates such as big, burly, truck drivers, raving about the vegies and roasts, being better than grandma’s! Nesha and Alex also both worked on a hatchery fish farm at close by Wayatinah. Life was fun and cruisy… nevertheless, suddenly in 2012, their world once again was turned upside down. Nesha sustained a severe, spinal crush fracture.
The company denied any wrongdoing. Previous numerous warnings from employees referring to unsafe work
practices and inappropriate equipment, fell on deaf ears.
For the next two years Nesha was unable to walk in an upright position. As if that wasn’t complex enough, with every doctor suggesting “it was all in her head.” Understandably depression crept into her life, a common issue with back injuries. Nesha’s mental health was now at a dangerously low level.
Meanwhile, Alex was having a ball and stayed with this employer until 2015. This job allowed him (admitting this now) to steer clear of Nesha, who was exhibiting suicidal tendencies. The situation was not helped with heavy drinking now available with a quick step across the road! Their lives were turning into a disaster as the ‘grog’ was once again taking hold of their existence.
They were not able to love each other.
One day, nearly two years after the injury, ongoing doctor shopping turned Nesha’s life around. A GP took one look at her and ordered x rays. Unsurprisingly, serious spinal damage was the diagnosis. An accurate diagnosis doesn’t necessarily ‘fix the pain’. We do know however that if someone’s pain is acknowledged, suffering can be reduced.
As it happens, Alex unintentionally decided to put a stop to all of that, by collapsing one day from oesophageal varices – this usually means end of life – particularly if bleeding is profuse and one lives in a remote area. Yes, to both.
In true Alex and Nesha style, a helicopter comes to the rescue and whisks Alex away to the Royal Hobart Hospital (RHH). Alex mentions he “died on the operating table”. Then, somehow, glued up (no stitches as the oesophagus was too friable), he was back at
work in no time!
Addressing the drinking was their next challenge and they unfortunately were told by one doctor – a beer a day wouldn’t hurt. Thankfully Alex attended the Liver Clinic at the RHH who suggested NO alcohol.
This couple had been together for 25 years. Nesha and Alex are the kind of people to always have a bit of excitement in their lives (can you tell?), and so not long after, in 2017, Nesha informed Alex she wanted to do medical transition. As an added complication, Alex didn’t believe Nesha’s wishes, which was a little harsh, given the trauma of her back pain, daily vigilance at the psychiatric award, coping with medical emergency helicopter rides etc. Alex acknowledges now, that this was ‘probably’ resentful behaviour, as ‘he’, covertly, also wanted to transition…
So, the world was once again moving in another direction, and by the end of 2017 Nesha had commenced her blocker medication and oestrogen. Her weight increased, and she was constantly in a complete state of euphoria. This was another time in their lives where they drifted apart. “We were not close at this time”, Alex tells us. “Nesha had it in her head that I did not want to be with her”.
As a result, they slept in separate rooms for the first time ever.
It lasted a week…
Alex decided not to transition at this time and to wait.
In 2020, Covid moved the goal posts for so many people undergoing complex medical procedures. Nesha temporarily stopped transition. The world had changed and no one could foresee what was yet to come
